The weeds of resentment

This picture was my life about eight years ago. We had these two precious boys 16 months apart, on purpose. I thought I wanted a whole slew of kids, boys in particular, to play and have fun with.
Until I had two.
It’s a story for another day, why it was such a hard year. But suffice it to say, two major family tradgedies (with all the resulting fall-out) and a birth defect that went undetected for 6 months (which meant non-stop crying the entire time), totally rocked my new mama world.
I was so tired and emotional. I remember thinking every day that I couldn’t make it through another day. It’s all a bit of a blur now, but somehow I did.
I survived.
I had amazing friends, but I was too tired to call them. I had a loving family, but they were all dealing with their own hurts and trauma. So I …