They put this baby in my arms and I knew exactly what to do.

Parenting a newborn was perfect for me. Not only was I professionally trained for it as a former Labor & Delivery nurse, I was instinctually good.

As my kids have grown, I’ve lost some of that confidence.

It was easy for me to swaddle and sleep train. It’s not so easy to navigate around a bunch of unknown. And that’s exactly what these little humans are: a big ball of uncertainty. One minute they like a food, the next it’s on your wall. Some days they’re happy, seconds later they’re screaming. Add in some autism and a pandemic, and it’s a whole mess of unpredictability.

I often feel like I’m coming up short with my kids. I yell. I zone out and stare at my phone. I don’t pretend play. There are times I wonder if they would be better …