I’m sitting in a quiet little bar of a hotel nestled in the hills of Southern California. Scott is speaking to a group in another room and I get the privilege of enjoying this beautiful view. Not too shabby, eh? I’m reading Danielle Laporte’s book, “The Desire Map” and loving it.
It’s no coincidence that I’m reading it while I’m sitting here, on a little weekend getaway with Scott.
The premise of her book is that we’re trained to achieve by setting goals and working hard to achieve them. What we haven’t fully grasped it that no matter the goal, it’s not reaching it that we’re actually after. It’s what we’ll feel when we achieve it. As a result, we should back into goals based on how we want to feel in our lives.
“You’re not chasing the goal itself – you’re chasing the feelings that you hope attaining those goals will give you.” ~ Danielle LaPorte
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say the word “desire”? I think for most of us, there are negative connotations. We think of sensual desire. Or selfish desires. But in reality, our innate desires drive most of our choices, whether we realize it or not.
Deep down, we all desire to feel certain ways.
We want to feel joyful, connected, brave, generous, powerful, secure, free, strong, hopeful. . . and on and on. We have dreams, set goals and make choices that we think will bring us those feelings. Dreams like having a certain career or home. Like taking more vacations or spending more time with our spouse. Even losing weight or getting in shape. It’s not the career or home we actually want. It’s what we imagine we’ll feel in that career, home, vacation, relationship, or smaller jeans.
My goal for this trip was to enjoy alone time with Scott on a weekend getaway (AND to eat Rubio’s fish tacos!).
But if I’m honest, I’m looking for more. There are certainly some things I’m wanting to feel. I want to feel more connected to Scott. I want to feel romantic. I want to feel more rested. I want to reconnect with the free-spirited girl I was when I lived in California.
I want to feel young and free again. . . even just for a few days.
Setting those as goals for this trip, I’ll act a little differently than if I set only a goal of time alone with Scott on a weekend getaway. Don’t you think?
Think about some of the goals you set for yourself this month.
What is it, below the surface, you’re actually looking to feel as a result of achieving those things? How would your mindset shift if you decided to start with that feeling as your main goal? How would your actions shift?
What would you be willing to do this year to feel the way you want to feel?
Thinking about things from this perspective will bring you more motivation to achieve your goals this year.
What do you want to feel?
I can’t wait to hear!
to more love,