The chute

Tina FeyYou can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.  – Tina Fey

Yesterday we opened the new Shop by HeartStories.  We told the first story of one of our Love Makers on the blog.  It was beautiful.  I got so much positive feedback about the idea, the story and how much we are going to help and change people with this concept.

It was amazing!

There is an incredible feeling, knowing that this thing that had been an idea in my head is now a reality in the world.  That people were touched, inspired and incited to action.

And then there’s another feeling.  

The feeling of shame that the shop isn’t designed and laid out exactly how I dreamed it would be.  That’s what happens when you do it yourself 😉

I’m kind of a perfectionist when it comes to my work.  

I can apparently do great work with little boy’s dirty stinky socks on my desk or a snake in the kitchen without a qualm.  So not the neat kind of perfectionist. But to actually put my name on something that seems a little quirky or not quite finished quite yet, and then shine a light on it.

Ooooh.  That’s hard.  

Even though I know for sure, it’s the right way.  The only way.

I’ve been thinking about that over the last 24 hours.  Why is that SO hard?  Why do I feel like everything needs to be perfect before anyone can see it?

Simply put, it’s pride. 

There are certainly other things at play.  Like, the desire to be a good representation of the beautiful stories of the Love Makers.  Like wanting the business to do well, so it can continue to support more and more women.  But if I’m honest, as I thought about it throughout the day yesterday, for me, it was mostly just plain pride.

Pride is a joy stealer.  

Pride holds you to impossibly high standards and keeps you thinking that what you do is never enough.  If you let it, it can make you feel unhappy with your life.  It will keep you from trying something new, for fear of failure.   It will keep you from doing things that matter

Today I have my boxing gloves on.

I’m in the ring with pride.  My worth isn’t tied to what other’s think of me or the work I do.  That’s never been the focus of my work with HeartStories, so I’m not going to let it start now.

What I know, is that if I’m going to spend time asking you to step up creating change that matters, I have to know what that feels like.

And believe me, I do.

Is pride stealing your joy today?

It’s a sneaky little dude.

It might keep you from busting a move and singing in your car at the stop light.  It might keep you from giving a hug instead of a handshake.

It might keep you from doing something really important with your life.

Call it what it is.

Get in the ring with me today.  And tomorrow.  And the next day.

Let go of the handrails at the top of the slide.

Let’s go down the chute together.

It’s hard work.  It’s scary.  It’s fast.

After a few runs, it starts to get fun.

No matter what, it will be worth it.  

To more love,

Crystal

2 thoughts on “The chute

  1. I love this so much because it is so incredibly true. I catch myself in this attitude so often unfortunately. I get in this place of fear and self consciousness and don’t know what it is making me act and feel less than enough. All comes down to pride. Call it what it is. It is not pretty or fun or who we are called to be. Thank you for sharing and getting me in the ring today and tomorrow…. Xo

    1. Totally true Brittany. It’s the way we’re wired. We have to fight it. I’m SO glad you’re in the ring with me. 😉

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