Safe spaces

Peace in the storm ~ Crystal Gornto | HeartStories

We’re still in the middle of remodeling our house.  Have I mentioned this is something I DO NOT recommend?  This is a picture of the kitchen yesterday.  We started in December.  Enough said.

Here’s the deal.

It uncontrollable chaos.  I don’t think one single contractor has come through and done their job right.  There’s always a new scratch across the floor, a saw inside the house (!), a crooked tile, a streak in the paint, a gap in the caulk, a board popping up, a broken appliance . . . I mean seriously, the list could go on forever.  Not to mention the constant noise of hammering, saws buzzing, and voices yelling. Let’s just say, there hasn’t been peace and calm in this house for a very long time.

It’s not only the remodeling though.

It’s the everyday-crazy on top of it.  It’s ridiculous stuff, like our groomer chopping off my 12-year-old puppy’s 12-year-old long ears, leaving his head looking like a pyramid of Egypt, in what could easily be the last year of his life.  It’s kids going back to school with dyslexia, jury duty, two family businesses, and friends going through major life changes.

Life is just so crazy.  So busy.  

I find myself wondering, waiting and hoping for the day it slows down.  Sometimes I catch myself holding my breath.  Like yesterday.  As soon as I walked through the door at my therapist’s office, I started talking.  All the way to the chair, talking.  All she did was ask “How are you?” and I began exploding with my list of all the crazy in my life and I didn’t stop until well after I sunk into the chair.

That’s when I finally did it.

I took a breath.  I’d been running since I opened my eyes and in that moment, I took a breath.  Then I told her how I judge myself for telling anyone else “I’m so busy”, when asked how I’m doing.  I don’t want to wear that badge of honor.  I’d much rather say, “Let’s get coffee!”

But that just isn’t my life right now.

I’m working hard to create a life that is, but it’s not my reality right now.  And that’s okay.  Jodi said something in that moment, that pierced the fog of the busy for me.  She said, “This is your safe place.  This is the place you can let it all out without judgement.”  She was right.

But it got me thinking. 

If my only safe space, to take a breath, is in her chair, I’m only really breathing for an hour, every two weeks . . . and I know that’s not true.  So I started thinking about all my safe places.  And there are so many.  The quiet, dimly lit darkness of the morning, this chair in her office, on the phone with a friend, at the table with my family, kissing my babies and praying them to sleep at night, sitting on a couch or around a table with girlfriends, worshipping my God in a room full of sisters and brothers on Sundays, reading a book on my pillow at night . . .  The list could go on and on.

Those are the places I practice creating the safe space inside of myself.

I just don’t linger there often enough.

What about you? I know your life is crazy-busy too.  Maybe you don’t need a therapist (although I’m a staunch believer it’s one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself).  Maybe you have all the support you need.  But are you soaking it in?  Are you making time to take regular deep breaths in the midst of the chaos?

It’s not going to magically disappear around the bend, up ahead.

Life isn’t a destination.  It’s this.  It’s the journey you are on today.  So you have to create your safe spaces right in the middle of it.

“Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”  

In your heart.

What makes you calm in your heart?  Where are your safe spaces?

Visit one of them today.

to more love,

Crystal

P.S. This is exactly the kind of space we are creating with the Girl’s Night Out.  If you need more safe spaces, maybe you should join us.

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