Look at her. Can you believe she’s wearing that? Saying that? Doing that?
If you’re a women, you’ve heard this. Maybe you’ve even caught yourself saying it. We live in a culture that is too often accepting of our criticism, competition and jealously. A culture that promotes the notion of scarcity that says, If I take from her, there’s more for me.
That way of thinking makes me sick.
This isn’t a topic I’ve touched on before, but it’s been brewing in me for some time. I have a feeling I will have a lot more to say about it in the future, but today I was reminded in such a huge way that I couldn’t let another moment pass without bringing it up.
I had a call this morning with Shannon Keith, founder of The International Princess Project. Their mantra is, “Our love stops traffic(k)“. Are you kidding me? You know I love them already!
While we were talking this topic came up and I was reminded of how prevalent this issue is.
It doesn’t just happen between junior high and high school girls or mean girls on T.V. It happens with grown up women. Even women who aim to create more love and good in the world. It happens with all of us.
We’ve been socialized to believe that somehow tearing others down will lift us up.
My friend Libba, is determined to change the tide on this. She lives in a way that she is constantly supporting other women and helping them get to the front of the line, even when it means she won’t be first. She’s creating a groundswell, a movement of women who are fed up with tearing down and the hurt it creates inside of us. She’s even coined the phrase “Tell the pretty girl she’s pretty” in an effort to remind us to support and love each other. Libba reminds us constantly to move others to the front of the line, give them the support, belief and accolades they deserve.
My very wise friend Victoria Prozan says, “Encouragement is a renewable resource” and she’s right. The more you give the more you have, the more you are able to give.
I say Love is renewable too.
And we need more of it in this crazy world. So next time you’re tempted to judge, criticize or even be silent when you see another woman showing up in the world, please pause.
I know it’s hard. I really do, but take just a second to think about what you could do instead.
Lift her up.
Tell your boss how much she helped you on that project.
Tell your friend how you saw her love her child.
Nominate her for the spot you really wanted.
Ask her out for coffee.
Get to know her heart.
And by all means, look at her.
Look at Shannon.
Look at Libba.
Look at Victoria.
Look at them. Aren’t they beautiful?
Be grateful for the good they are doing. Make it easier for others to look at them too.
Lead the way to a world where women look at each other with grace and support.
Our lives are hard enough already.
We can help each other.
We can make a difference.
Today, we have a choice. Let’s spread a little more love.