Let yesterday go

Just before sunset last night, we went to my parent’s house to water their plants. (& get attacked by mosquitos, but that’s another story).  By the time we made it to the backyard, the sun was almost completely down and this boy had already found a friend.  While I was near the back fence, frantically swatting mosquitos on every part of my body, he was frolicking around in the yard yelling, “Come look mom!”

“I can’t look right now babe, I’m literally being eaten alive and I just want to get this finished.”

He proceeds to run over, borrow my phone and make the most darling little narrated video of his ‘find’.  He’d found two frogs sitting quietly in a drain hole.  He picked one up, but on his way to show me, it hopped right out of his hands and went hopping and ping-ponging all over the yard.  He finally caught it again and we snapped this cute pic.

The best part?

I woke up this morning to see his little video on my phone and I got a little glimpse of my boy enjoying the simple pleasures of summer.  While I watched it, a huge smile came over my face.  My precious boy (who’s becoming a man all too quickly) was, for a moment, a wide-eyed kid again.  He had so much joy and wonder in his voice as he narrated his discovery.  He had so much to say about seemingly such a small find.  He was loving it!

So was I, until. . .

I instantly felt a sharp twinge of pain in my heart, followed by the familiar mom guilt/regret combo.  I should have paid more attention.  He was having a little moment and I squashed it with my rush.  I wish I would have taken a little time out to celebrate with him.  But I was fighting for my life against those killer mosquitos!

You know the drill.

I had my little moment, but then I had to make a decision.  Would I let my guilt and regret over “doing it wrong” ruin that memory?  Or would I acknowledge it, pay attention, and learn something from it?  Or would I let it be the stimulus for doing it differently next time?

This morning, I’m choosing the latter.  

I’m sharing it with you so you can do the same.  You’ll make mistakes.  You’re going to miss some of the moments, because sometimes you’re busy fighting for your life.  You can’t always engage in the moment someone else needs you.  It’s okay.  It means you’re alive.  You’re human.

But don’t let it swallow your joy by getting stuck in regret.  

Acknowledge it.  Learn from it.  Plan ahead for how you’ll do it differently next time.  Take a moment to be grateful for the learning.

And move on.  

Life is full of little moments of joy and wonder, if you’re looking for them.  But holding on to regrets from the past will blind you every single time.

Let yesterday go, so you can see the life before you today.  

to more love,

Crystal

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