If you could peek into our family kitchen as we prepare our thanksgiving meal, this is what you’d see; My sister Kim (#2) is in the kitchen, preparing a beautiful meal. Mom is labeling red cups with a sharpie. Dad in the yard playing football with the boys. Heather (#4) working hard to make sure she is busy helping everyone. Me (#3), eating some of the freshly prepared food, turning up the music (that is likely annoying everyone else) while moving between the kitchen and all the activities, trying to help, but really wanting to be playing with the kids. And of course Michelle (#1), the peacemaker, doing her part in the kitchen and working to make sure everyone is being kind and getting along.
One of the most interesting things I’ve learned this year has been about how we tend to behave when we’re with our family of origin.
We tend to go back and adopt the roles we had as kids. Often the learning and growing we’ve done as adults disappears out the window the second we walk back into our family group. And for most of us, that isn’t a great thing.
It’s great, of course, to bring your personality and your unique gifts to the table, but it’s not great to bring your child self along.
Breaking those old patterns of behavior is really hard. But the first step is noticing that they’re there.
If you’re with your family this week, I challenge you (& me) to pay attention.
Open your heart to noticing the role you’re playing with your family this year. Are you the same, strong confident adult you are in the other areas of your life?
If not, invite that adult to the table.
This week, love your family with all the wisdom and experience life has given you, instead of showing up like a child still trying to find her way.
You have a lot to be thankful for.
to more love,