Fear doesn’t own you

This was a moment in time seven years ago when my nephews turned six.  Today these precious baby boys offically become teenagers and it’s nearly impossible to fathom for all of us, but especially my sister Kim.  The story of their fight to survive in the womb is one for the history books, no doubt.  While pregnant in 2005, Kim learned that not only was she pregnant with twins, they were both fighting for their lives due to something called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome.  She could choose to save one of them right then, or she could fly to Florida for an experimental, in utero surgery to try to save them.  The risk was that one, or both, might die during the operation.

The hope, was that they both might live.

That unimaginable choice to make that treck to the only surgeon in the country who was experimenting with this operation turned out to be one of the best decisions of her life.  But it was only the beginning.  The days and years that followed brought so much more pain and struggle.  Kim has fought through some of the most difficult trials I’ve seen.

And she has chosen strength and dignity.

Over and over again, I’ve watched her make the difficult choices that were best for her and for her family, despite what others might think.  This week, when I read a note she posted as she reflected on the twins upcoming birthday, I crumbled in tears.   Those tears that remember the pain, but also tears of joy and gratitude for her her choices and her strength.  Tears that know how her choices will ripple through generations to come.

Today, no matter your beliefs, I hope her story encourages you to break up with fear.

“My beautiful identical twin boys will become teenagers this week! I’m a little stressed to say the least! They are my miracle babies! When the doctor told us we were having twins my heart dropped! I thought “God… why me?!!” I grew up with 3 sisters I don’t know how to handle boys, especially two at a time! I almost lost those beautiful babies several times but in my heart God said to me.. “do you trust me?” My amazing husband and exceptional children are a daily reminder of Gods grace and love in my life. I’m afraid everyday I won’t be the kind of wife, parent, child, friend that I need to be. I spent Friday evening and Saturday with my 3 children and 3 of my nieces and nephews. That was an adventure for sure! On the way home we were taking song requests and one of my nieces requested “the Breakup song” I thought “Oh my, we are hitting our teenage years early but let’s give it a try!”

There in the car on the Dallas North Tollway in the pouring rain my spirit was moved.  My sweet little niece whose sister was recently diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes requested a song that spoke volumes about her life. So there in the car in the pouring rain with 6 kids singing along I was reminded… Gods got this! If this young little girl can say no to fear so can I!

Fear of epilepsy, learning disabilities, diabetes, peer pressure, mean girls, bully’s, anything that steals my joy of this journey I’m on.. “fear you don’t own me!” So bring it on! I’m ready for a house full of teenagers! Lord teach me to cherish it all and trust you in everything!”  ~ Kim Welch

The Breakup Song – Francesca Battistelli

Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Had as much of you as I can take
I’m so done, so over being afraid

I’ve gone through the motions
I’ve been back and forth
I know that you’re thinking you’ve heard this before
I don’t know how to say it
So I’m just gonna say it

Fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you
Telling me what I’m not
Like you know me well guess what?
I know who I am

I know I’m strong
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here

Breaking up with fear is a daily, moment-by-moment choice and it’s worth it.

Let the 13th Birthday of these beautiful boys be a reminder to you today.

Fear doesn’t own you.

to more love,

Crystal

The Breakup Song lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

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