A Bad Case of Life Envy

Have you ever had “life envy?” You know, that ugly feeling you get when looking at someone else’s life online, wishing you could have their life because it looks so beautiful, so thrilling, so purposeful?

The blogging world can be a little like that. I started blogging in college and since then recording my life online and reading about other people’s lives through their blogs has become a bit of a hobby of mine. At first, I loved that I could read about trips my favorite bloggers went on, check out all of their cute outfit posts and even share my own life adventures.

But then, envy started to sink in. I started comparing my life and my blog to the ones I read about. Negative thoughts clouded my mind, and instead of enjoying blogging for myself, I became so paranoid that my blog – my life! – wasn’t good enough. Thoughts like: “My life is so boring compared to theirs.” “I need to get new clothes. I’m not fashionable at all!” “Their blog is so much better than mine. Mine sucks.” “They have it all figured out and I haven’t a clue what I’m doing with my life, my blog, my relationships.”

Then something changed. A few of us bloggers in town decided get together, in person, for a happy hour. We wanted to meet each other in real life, put a real face to the digital one we’ve read so much about. As silly as it sounds, I was hesitant to go. Certainly I wouldn’t have anything in common with these fabulous women who document their amazing, happy lives.

However, upon meeting and truly connecting with each blogger, that night I realized something: everyone has daily struggles – big and small. We talked for hours about real life – the trials and tribulations of marriage and relationships, work issues, money problems, and even wonderful, personal things that couldn’t be shared on our blogs. Once we were done spilling our lives to one another, we vowed to get together again. And we have!

A picture from one of our blogger get-togethers!

A picture from one of our blogger get-togethers!

Meeting these talented women and hearing their real life struggles didn’t make me think they were any less wonderful. If anything, I felt a deeper connection to the real woman behind each blog. Sharing real life with one another for three hours was better than reading or writing blog posts for three months. Truly, nothing beats real connections.

Of course we want to put our best face forward online. We all do this on Facebook, don’t we? We post the best parts of our lives – engagement announcements, baby pictures, vacation albums – and leave the negative, albeit, real aspects of our lives private. That’s what I love about HeartStories. It’s an outlet that lets us share what’s really going on, good or bad, with our closest friends. It gives us a way to foster real relationships, celebrate real life together and keep “life envy” at bay.

5 thoughts on “A Bad Case of Life Envy

  1. Nikol – I have no idea how I came across your blog, but I’m so happy that I did! This piece especially hits home right now. Thanks for giving me a little light in the day 🙂

  2. Aww, love you girl! It’s so true, meeting you ladies in person was so much better than any blog post I could have read about you all. Such a wonderful post and a great reminder that the people we envy online may have so much going on behind the scenes that we will never know about, the grass isn’t always greener! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Mal! We miss you here in Austin. I’m glad we all got together for that first happy hour last year. Best HH ever and we all became such good friends. Lucky us. 🙂

  3. “Meeting these talented women and hearing their real life struggles didn’t make me think they were any less wonderful. If anything, I felt a deeper connection to the real woman behind each blog.”

    This is what it’s all about. Getting beyond the high level “connections” to the real woman. Period.

    Thank you for sharing a beautiful example of what real relationships can do in our lives.

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